Adventures of a marathon girl

Hi y'all, How on earth did we ever end up here? What happened and when did we turn a corner and started the part of our lives where saying goodbye to a live has become more frequent than welcoming a newborn baby into the world? When did we get to this stage? Did we blink? Forget to breathe? Did we miss our stop? Can someone please wake me up and tell me this is not my story, that I took the wrong train and that I should transfer quickly to my actual train that is still in happy ville. Life nowadays has taken a turn to nocturnal alley and it's dark. Not always as consuming as you would figure it must be but dark non-the-less. Life seems to be about trying to find whatever it is you need right now. Sometimes you need time, sometimes it is space and sometimes it is something to hold on to. Yesterday my dad found out that one of his brothers (who has been very sick for a while now) has decided to make the final journey come Wednesday and so today my father is saying goodbye...

Hi y'all, Grieve is an unexplicable phenomenon and yet I feel the dire need to explain what is happening to me, to me. Does that make any sense at all? It's a little like trying to solve a problem while going over it and doing so out loud. For me running has literally always been my go-to thing and even now when sometimes anger, overwhelming pain and total exhaustion take over my life, body, mind and all that is me...even now I run. Not far, not long and definately not fast but I'm running. I need to feel alive, a little like me every now and again to just survive all of the fucking crap I am going through. Nobody ever told me losing a parent is so all consuming and that it makes complete and utter assholes out of everybody involved, so yes that does include myself. Ofcourse I have seen shit things happen to other families and yes even I have the brain capacity to go about it explaining how grieve does weird things to people and how grieve makes us all act in ways we ne...