Freedom

During my workout this morning it hit me: on this blog I have been writing about my workouts and the good cause I am running for and such but what I have not been doing so far is actually write about running. Well at least not as far as I can remember. And since last weekend I got asked what it is I like in running I might as well try to tell you guys. I am not so sure it's going to make sense but it is an attempt to explain the why in running for me, so here it goes:

Running is a twisted sport. A game between the mind and the body. How? Well this is what kind of happens to me during any given workout. I get this urge to go for a run. Sometimes because I'm in a seriously bad mood, sometimes because I am just in the mood to get out there but mostly because my schedule for the half marathon requires me to do so. The moment I get into my running shoes I get jumpy. Literally. I feel like jumping up and down. Than I set my runkeeper app (I am not one for 'naked' running), get my water, drink a small glass of roosvicee, a tradition that stuck since my basic training at team10 ,and I start my workout.

After about 500 meters it feels like my legs are telling my mind something like:'Excuse me?? What's happening? Are you for real?? Cut that out!!' And ofcourse you ignore them. Right along with those legs my lungs start to act like I have been a heavy smoker or something and I can't seem to get my breathing to become more regular or steady at the least. So you see this is the first stage of the mind/body fight. It might actually be your mind speaking for your body telling you that really this is not such a great idea or it actually is your body responding to the accute action you just rendered into. I'm not sure and I think it doesn't really matter because the result is the same. You kind of listen to your body (little aches and pains can be ignored but serious ones can't) but if you find nothing out of the ordinary than you just ignore the cries for attention and go on.

When I get to about kilometer three (about 1.15 miles) my body seems to accept the fact that running is the new modus operandi for it and it adjusts. My breathing evens out and gets steady, my legs are warm enough to just do what I ask them to do and than all at the sudden and always to my surprise there is no more thinking. Not about what I'm feeling at that precise moment, not about things I stress about, not about anything really. Suddenly the world seems to silence and slow down and I can see my city in it's rare beauty. And be amazed. Small bunnies crossing the road I'm at, the sun reflecting on the surface of the water right next to that road, young leafes, new grass,the changing light in the morning or the afternoon colouring the sky, even the bugs that surround me and sometimes sting me. My mind opens up and ideas start flowing in and out and I just let them. Listening to the cadance of my feet, watching the road ahead and just go....or better yet...let go. And I feel absolutely and totally free.

But all good things come to an end (why? So unfair!) and I nearly always hit that wall called fatigue. Usually right before the end of a workout. Somehow it is like my mind is telling me to come back to reality and deal with that thing called body that is kind of protesting again. My mind starts to throw all kind of horrible things at me like: 'Really? You think you can make it? Quit while you're ahead, come-on you're way to fat to do this, you know there is no shame in stopping now'. Right at that same moment I can feel my legs burning or my knees start to pinch me or my feet are getting so hot that if I would stick them in a bowl with water it would evaporate. Or my head is so hot and sweaty I feel like I'm about to burst. So than what? Normally i zip some water and if I have enough left I pore some over my head and finish my run by picking up the pace in stead of slowing down. Like kicking insecurity in the butt and I sometimes even get angry at my body.

And than there is that finishline. Just when I thought I couldn't go any further my runkeer app always tells me:'workout complete'. And than two things can happen. I can be really frustrated if a run felt like a strugle all the way and didn't have the 'free-time feeling' in it or I get this ...aaaaaah.....and that honestly is such a great feeling. It is a feeling of accomplishment, of reward, of endless opportunities of ...I don't know...it feels like you are invincible. Ooh and getting out of those bug invested shirts and tights and hitting a shower is like a slice of heaven. An after run shower is the best shower you can get and that after run feeling? Nothing compares to it.

running can be hard, challenging, painful and sometimes downright horrible but at the same time it can be beautiful, mind liberating, ass kicking awesome and all that is you and a road. And that is what makes me want to run over and over again. I hope you will experience this one day and remember: every day is a good day to get out there and run.

As always until we read again,

love Marlies