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Have a little faith in you!

Hi y'all,

Me and my fellows are entering the realms of bittersweet and endings. The road we have travelled together is narrowing and it's not going to be long before I have to face the music on my own. After dangers untold and hardships unnumbered the time has come for me to stand on my own two feet and trust that Joris The Tin Man and Esther the good witch have taught me all their lessons and that I am ready to do this. I can't believe how fast time has passed and how much this entire journey has changed me.

Last weekend I ran my last long run before the marathon and I did smiling all the way, helping struggling fellow runners and it felt nothing like the first time I ran a 30km run. Almere gave me confidence, boosted my spirit and has left me feeling proud to actually be a long distance runner.

The road leading up to this point has been incredible. Trust me: you can't do this and have it not change you. It is simply impossible. You can't do this if you are not fully in it with all that you have. I have lost toenails, I ran through blisters the size of a clam, I ran in extreme heat, in down poors, I have lost count of the times I battled the elements and I have lost buckets and buckets of sweat. I have cried, I have cursed like a mine worker, I have puked, I have been through pain I never thought would end. I have done it all. Literally all. Now it is time to rest up for the big day. My runs are getting shorter and my night are getting longer. As the intensity of my trainings is going down I am trying to mentally prepare myself for race day. Team Marlies is complete and that team of superheroes will stand guard and fuel me as I pass them by. I can't believe that I have friends and family members that feel proud and honored by the fact that I asked them to be part of my team. I can only say thank you and yet those words just don't suffice. I have a good and solid race day plan and now all that needs to be done is rest.

It seems like only yesterday I registered for the TCS Amsterdam Marathon and now this journey ends in only two weeks from now. I have been through so much and I am so grateful for all of it. It's strange and quite unbelievable how something as horrible and overwhelming as my mother's bulbair ALS diagnoses has ignited the insanely intens drive inside of me to try harder, to be better, to be gruwesomenly honest with myself and face all that you have to face when training for a full marathon. In a twisted and weird way being unemployed and facing my mom's imminent death has created a void in which I was able to deal with pain & anger and use it to get over shit and not feel sorry for myself. I do not get to do that simply because I have so much to be grateful for. The love of my life who never ever questions my adventures but always asks how he can support me, that man is my everything. My family, even though we bicker and show true sibling rivalry, will always call me home. Friends. Amazing friends and some even unaware of how much they matter to me. Love. All of it. And it is because of that love that I refuse to be a victim of what happens to me. This does not mean I don't cry and mourn the passing of each and every piece of my beautiful mother. Ofcourse I do but at the same time I welcome each and every new moment with her and I celebrate life by living it. That is the gift she gave me and I will use each and every breath I have left to honour that gift.

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