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Remember, let go and clear your space

Hi y'all,




It is the 31st of December and for me that has always meant a great many things. It is a day of rituals for me. Growing up I learned how to tune in to the tidal waves of closure, letting go and opening up space.

How do I upen op space? I run, I practice yoga and I recently started to meditate. On the last day of the year I always run so like always I ran out the year, I sprinted and let go of anger and sadness. I let go of all that is negative and toxic and I ran so fast my legs and my lungs felt like they were on fire and I nearly puked. Running out the old is my way of letting go of all that no longer helps me and by doing so creating space.

When I am done with the last run of the year I take off the bling I've gathered over the year and just go over them. I have said this many times before: to me bling are memories frozen in time. Bling reminds me of great people and good times. So this year I ran little over 1000km and with that I generated 164 dollar via charity miles, I swam two open water swims and I walked a beautiful long walk with my sister. With each and every medal I remember the fun, the laughter and the beautiful people I was with. It is impossible to name them all but here's a few:

A waaaay too hot dam-tot-dam loop running it with the amazing Rijnbeek just having fun.
The ugly sweaterrun with Willemijn in Vondelpark marking the beginning of christmas.
The KLM trail run with the awesome posse that is Team 10 runners. What a blast and oh yeah...we ran the 10 :-) so fun!
Cruyffloop 14k tripping over my own feet at mile 2 and still kept going running into the arms of my love in the Arena where I cried.
Two half marathons again in incredible heat making me feel so proud to complete them with the love of my cheering and rooting for me.

So many beautiful moments & people. Looking over those medals and remembering them all the positivity I choose to take with me to the new year. I am truely grateful for the people in my life and even if it is a brief moment we have spend on running shoes, hardly able to talk and sweating buckets. I love you guys. I absolutely do.

Next to running out the old I love to take the head space I created by running out the old and use my calmed down head to create a space where I can set my intentions for the new year. There a re several ways to do this, I like to do this on my yogamat at my quiet high ceiling attick surrounded by the candles I love. for me setting intentions for the new year is more than just a ritual going through the motions. It is the time to really tune into you, connecting to you. As I listened to the words passing through my thoughts : 'be grateful for all last year's experiences because they got you to this moment in time, sitting on your mat being where you need to be' I cried and as I am writing this piece I am crying. Why? because it is true. The all that is last year got me to this point and I get to decide what I take with me from all those experiences.

Last year I have been a warrior. I did not survive anything, I fought to not drown with each and every huge toxic wave that came my way and with the last blow I decided to move on and that concious decision opened up the space I needed to really cut the ties. Now moving on is not the same as giving up but the road I was on was only going to trap me more in anger, frustration and pain and I was just done. The answer to hate is never hate, it is love and sometimes that love means enough love for oneself to actively step away from toxicity. And that I did. I walked away and it wasn't victorious or heroic nor did it need to be. It was stupid, akward and uncomfortable and made no sense but I learned to see past the smoke and mirrors and once you know, you know. And the fight ended.

So what do I bring with me from all last year's experiences? That I am strong, capable, independent and loved. I am loved and therefore I no longer need to fight. There is nothing left to fight for because it is simply no longer my fight. I can contribute from a free space filled with gratitude and love, surrounded by people that inspire me and believe in me. I do not need to fight for what's right and just. I can be part of something bigger and what is right and just will follow suit. So today as I set my intentions for 2020 I lay down my sword and shield and I choose to walk away from the battle field and to open space for a new adventure that will start soon. The new year will have it's challenges and I will have hard times. Who's to tell what will happen and how I will handle whatever comes my way.. I don't know and I don't have to. For now imagine me sitting on a mountain top with the sun on my skin feeling loved and just be. I know that I am connected to all that is.

Wishing you all the magic that is this day, maybe you'll find a way to close of this year and open up space for the new one.



That's it for now, until we read again
Love, Marlies

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