Adventures of a marathon girl

Hi y'all, When words are absolete and time moves on the thing that remains is love. My mom knows her time with us is running out and she knows when she wants to leave this earth. Now I know the controversy, political and religious believes about life and who's it is to take but it isn't relevant anymore. Nothing is. The only thing we want, oughta and need to do is sit by her side as she embarks on her last great journey taking her to a place she can't discuss with us. And that has proven to be far more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. Not because I'm scared, not because I'm choking on grieve, not because I'm awestruck by her courage, not because I'm mad that there still isn't an aswer to this asshole disease. Not because any of all that even though it is all there and I'm going through it all. It is unimaginably hard because of everything and everyone. The ones who are too scared to see her and therefore have stopped coming over co...

Hi y'all, How on earth did we ever end up here? What happened and when did we turn a corner and started the part of our lives where saying goodbye to a live has become more frequent than welcoming a newborn baby into the world? When did we get to this stage? Did we blink? Forget to breathe? Did we miss our stop? Can someone please wake me up and tell me this is not my story, that I took the wrong train and that I should transfer quickly to my actual train that is still in happy ville. Life nowadays has taken a turn to nocturnal alley and it's dark. Not always as consuming as you would figure it must be but dark non-the-less. Life seems to be about trying to find whatever it is you need right now. Sometimes you need time, sometimes it is space and sometimes it is something to hold on to. Yesterday my dad found out that one of his brothers (who has been very sick for a while now) has decided to make the final journey come Wednesday and so today my father is saying goodbye...

Hi y'all, Grieve is an unexplicable phenomenon and yet I feel the dire need to explain what is happening to me, to me. Does that make any sense at all? It's a little like trying to solve a problem while going over it and doing so out loud. For me running has literally always been my go-to thing and even now when sometimes anger, overwhelming pain and total exhaustion take over my life, body, mind and all that is me...even now I run. Not far, not long and definately not fast but I'm running. I need to feel alive, a little like me every now and again to just survive all of the fucking crap I am going through. Nobody ever told me losing a parent is so all consuming and that it makes complete and utter assholes out of everybody involved, so yes that does include myself. Ofcourse I have seen shit things happen to other families and yes even I have the brain capacity to go about it explaining how grieve does weird things to people and how grieve makes us all act in ways we ne...

Hi y'all, Forgive me for not being a loyal blogger. If you have given up on reading my adventures I can't blame you. If you did stick around I truely want to thank you. I am struggling with time at work, with my love, renovating the new house, being there for my parents and dealing with the harsh and ugly face of ALS which my mom is still going through. Some days are good, some are not so good and some days are just [fill in the blanks with curse words of your choice] If any day why did I choose this day to write an update on my blog? Stephen Hawking died. ALS claimed another life and it just gutted me this morning. Next to a brilliant scientist that had the talent of actually reaching a broader audience with his explanation of quite dificult principles in astrophysics, astrobiology and cosmology he was the spark of hope for those understanding the face of ALS. He was the boy who lived....until just now when his body caved and he died. The world lost a brilliant mind, a man...

When you have been around long enough you know certain things that you won't truely know until you've actually been around for more than a few years. A sucky message to youth but a true one too. Time is literally all you need (well and oxygen, water, food, shelter....ugh...the basics) With the year coming to a close I need some time to reflect and set new goals. Running wise I didn't get to where I wanted to be. I broke my wrist and my anckle and just this week I felt that I could run twice and wear high heels without my anckle shapeshifting into a big ass water melon. Nope...I didn't run the 1000 miles I had set out for myself. Heck I'm happy if I even ran half that distance but I'm sure I didn't even get those miles in. Did it tick me off? Like a fury on a bad day it did. You can bet your sweet ass it annoyed the crap out of me and what's more I learned that I can not deal with muggle fakers on run shoes when I'm cut off. Nope. I can be completel...

Hi y'all, So I ended last week's post on a rather gloomy and somewhat depressing note. I could say that I'm sorry for that and I could try to ease your uncomfortableness by saying I didn't quite mean it like that but you know what? I am not going to do that. I want to be honest on my blog and write what happens in my life as a runner, runcoach, lover, daughter, friend, fundraiser for the Dutch ALS  Foundation and basically just an awkward fourty-somethinger trying to figure out life. So here it is. Lately I have been feeling like shit and I am not going to sugar coat that. If you don't like that or get scared than by all means ....go have fun in the shallows of Funville and ignoretown. I can't offer you that right now. What I can and will do for you is write honest to the gut reports on how I'm doing in recovery since rupturing the anklets on my right foot to the point they ripped of a piece of bone. Wowsah, that hurts. So after two complete weeks of muc...

Hi y'all, So it has been awfully quiet around my part of this here blog and let me tell ya why...EVERYTHING WENT BONCKERS. Seriously everything turned to DONKEY DUNG. So whazzup you ask me? Welll....don't say you didn't want to know. If you don't actually give a rats ass please stop reading now... -----------------Still reading are ya?--------------------------sure you wanna do this?----------------- Right...Don't come back to me complaining about my language or my attitude. This is MY BLOG and I wanna RANT now because I fell down a shithole LITERALLY and my running days are over this season. Wait ...WHAT? YES THAT IS RIGHT! I can't run any of the races I registered for and right now I'm not even sure I can run at all. I can't even stand on my right foot regardless of the maximum amount of painkillers. I'm devastated and angry and non of it will help me but I need to vent because I can't do anything else. So I'm gonna give you the long ...