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Mind the games

Hi y'all,

The caption of this post acts as a spoiler alert, just in case you didn't pick up the hint ...there's one! This past week didn't have any really long long runs scheduled. I ran little over 30km devided in 3 runs, walked a 21.5km walk and trained twice for the Amsterdam City Swim in open water. So easy breezy there. Got myself two new pairs of Hoka One One Clifton 6 and I've tested both this week. Still very much like the lightness of the shoe and the bouncyness of m but on runs onder 20km there really isn't anything I can say for realsies about how I like m than but for now....awesome.

This past week involved games....a lot of m. As you might remember by my last post I'm not all together that sure I can make it all the way through an entire full marathon. I wanna run it but I'm no longer really sure why. I don't have to proof myself to anyone but me, however the world contains a lot more humans than just me. As y'all might know...I'm not much of a people person and sometimes it's hard. People can be seriously intolerable



When I accidentally run into humans of the nasty kind I've learned that running brings me so much. It has given me focus, peace and quiet, oxygen when I felt like I was suffocating and it has brought me confidence but...there it is....running is as much a game of the mind as it is a physical one. You need to believe in you in able to do you. Though sometimes it works the other way around....you just run, make it and accept that you just did it and that you can actually pull it off but mostly you need to take that first step and convince yourself you're stronger than you look and fiercer than you think. Yet somehow lately mind just won't calm down and you need a calm mind to take that first step.



My mind however has entered a storm that is yet to peak just because life keeps throwing a whole lot of fucked up crap at me and it is pissing me off beyond believe. The crap people pull is unmistakingly and epically bat-shit crazy, you couldn't even imagine it, it is that insane. I should really just go around life with a go-pro stuck to my forehead in order for you guys to believe it. Events spiral out of control so fast it looks like a typhoon just reked havoc and completely destroyed my just recently restored debris called life. Everytime I exhale and try to relax something completely idiotic happens and leaves me looking around my yet again pile of shit called life going WHAT THE FUCK NOW?? Running didn't bring me anything. I ran till my lungs burned, walked it off, did that again until I reached the 11km point still mad as hell. So here's what's gonna happen now...



I AM STILL HERE! I am not a survivor and I am not a victim. I am a fucking WARRIOR and I'm done playing nice. I will not be stumped on, overlooked by, ignored or pushed into a corner any longer, I  refuse to back down and play nice and I sure as hell will not play good little blond girl. You wanna flip my world over? You do? Let's go!!! Try me and see how you like the tip of my sword shuffed in your face. I am a runner. I will outrun and I'll beat you any day. Nothing you will ever do will stop me from standing up again. So you either learn how to run or just step aside because I'm not about to stop or move over.  Running is a mind game and what ever game you're playing, you will lose. Just drop the sword. Just drop it because I only will when you have been silenced. As long I have a breath left in me I will run, I will fight and I will win.

That's it for now.
keep it unreal and make it happen!
As always, love Marlies

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