Adventures of a marathon girl

 Hi y'all Life can be daunting and downright shit at times and y'all know my life sure as hell isn't smooth sailing all the time. Like probably many of you I have to deal with a lot of aggravating muggles and pressure from society to handle shit like a true bell with dignity and grace. My mom taught us to never shed a tear in front of other so called grown-ups because you'll end up hurt when you show your emotions. We never ask why me, we pull up our chins and pull down our hats and say try me. So...however impossible things get, there is always a way to keep moving even if it feels like you simply can't. You can. My upbringing has been colliding with the lack of that spirit in so many others that like me and the rest of the world  have to deal with Covid19. It almost feels like there are two types of muggles: the ones feeling like someone is doing them wrong, like the world is out to get them and like they are never going to make it out and the ones that try to kee...

Hi y'all With the entire world going to hell I find myself literally gasping for air sometimes. The things some people think they can say without consequence to me is just staggering. The humans I am referring to here are of the grown-up kind age-wise. They are not kids though admittedly so their behaviour really has me question that. I learned at an early age that I might not be fast, I might not be strong but I am able to inflict serious and long lasting pain by just using my mouth at the right moment. Smacking the air out of another human being like it means nothing. With that knowledge came the understanding that words are not just words and that words do hurt and scar. With that knowledge came the acceptance that being able to write and debate powerfully does not mean it entitles me to more freedom. If anything I learned at an early age to pick my battles and use the weapon I know how to yield only when all other options have run out. In this day and age it seems to me that mo...

Hi y'all, Once in while you'll find yourself on a road alone, away from other people and even out of sight. Running through the forrest with nobody around. Awesome and a little scary. why? Because we, especially women, have learned to fear places where help isn't near. Places that could harbour danger and potentially even death. We've learned to fear deserted, mostly dense and overgrown stretches of land and we've rationalized our instincts. We've learned to overthink our primal instincts and at the same time we're raised by big-bad-wolve-ideas which is why most of times when I run alone I avoid places that have too much space between me and help which in my case boils down to: I hardly ever run through the forrest and I nearly always stick to bicycle lanes in the not so crowded somewhat rural area I live in. Rural my butt is what most really outdoorsy people would say but was born in Amsterdam, I grew up there and I've lived there for 45 years before mo...

Hi y'all What a rollercoaster ride life can be. One minute you're embarking on the year to end all big and epic challenges and the next a deadly virus strikes the earth and changes everything. Everything you ever took for granted somehow seems to dissipate into sheer oblivion and you can't be sure if anything will ever be the same again. How is that for a dramatic opening of another blogpost on my way to NYC.... Oh wait a minute....NYC marathon, the 50th edition, the one I was supposed to run for charity...that one...Oh yeah...that deadly virus sweeping the earth like hell hath nu fury? Well...it took care of all of my fears of not being able to pull it off both physically and fundraising-wise because that virus just made sure my Big Apple Marathon got cancelled. So how do I feel about that? Hmmmm pretty sure you can guess the level of my disappointment. But honestly I would have been overwhelmed with fear ....no....anxiety if that same marathon would have happened in t...

Hi Y'all Today we wrote history. Today for the first time since we signed up and COVID19 hit the Netherlands, we had a group training session and meet-up for with the New York Marathon party. I am always scared and nervous that I won't be able to do it and that I am the sad & fat slow girl - total honesty on my blog- and I am always akward meeting new people. Luckily for me not all the people there were new to me. Some of them I already knew because of my previous job so that made this a little easier but still...I am not always happy around groups and new people and I am never comfortable in my own skin amongst other long distance fast runners. Face it...I am not skinny, I am a little fat and I am nowhere near fast. But....I am dedicated to do this and I don't want this to go any further than me being part of an enormous event, enjoying every minute as much as I possibly can. Me showing up today was a big win for me. I am scared of Covid19 more than I would like to ...

Hi y'all, Difficult times lie ahead. Tomorrow would have been my mom's birthday, in eleven days we remember her passing and than there's 21st of June which marks the 50th year in which my parents would have been together and this year that colides with father's day and the obvious world ALS day, now if that weren't enough we have the 23rd of June which marks the day we had mom's funural service. All I really wanna do is crawl in a hole and come out when June has passed. But that is not an option. In the past few years too many things have been said. There actually is such a thing as talking about crap too much especially when the person you talk to feels the need to open up each and every wound just so they can understand better which in the end is never the case and you're left with your carefully mended and scarred over tissue ripped open again. No better than before but the other one asbolutely convinced they get it now which they don't. Today, as...

Hi Y'all, In running there are all sorts of unseperable trio's. Things that come in three and always do. Things I like to call the fundamentals. Think of them as basics, not rules to live by but merely interlinked shackles forming a tiny chain. There are a few to consider and even though I might be the only one ever thinking about them as such is doesn't hurt to share my outtake on them so here we go: The holy trinity of running: luck, wisdom & bling. In running, especially long distances, we all need a little luck. No guarantees are given no matter the amount of preperation you put into a long distance race. You can be as prepared as any preacher for christmas is and still not make it to the finish line. So many things can happen while you are out on race day so....a little luck for all runners never hurt anyone. Supersticion amongst runners is a thing and I for one am a supersticious as they come. Numerous rituals before that gun goes off to mark the start of th...