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What is your answer?

Hi Y'all

To those reading along on my fundraising page  heel hard lopen tegen ALS I also blog in Dutch there and sometimes this page and my fundraiser page have the same content more or less. Like today. SO I'm sorry if you're following both but remember I am running this full marathon because I want to raise money for scientific research on ALS and raise awareness at the same time.

So what's been up this week? Running got me in a somewhat philosophical mood this past week due to the weather I guess (it's absolutely ghastly around these parts!) and maybe due to the fact that losing my job is a much debated topic now that the end of the academic year is upon us. So this past week I have had my mind wrapped around the concept of time. It is precious, I always seem to run out of it or it outruns me which is even worse, I'm constantly wondering where it's gone, sometimes you just want to speed it up and then there are times when you want to freeze it. So what's the deal with time? Well in my not so very humble opinion it is the biggest adventure of all. How do you want to spent the time you have on this earth? What will you do?




Being up close and personal to someone who is literally running out of time to live is changing my perspective on what's important and what I want out of my life. My motto 'keep it unreal and make it happen' kind of sprang up on me when my mom's diagnose for bulbair ALS came in. Somehow I want huge things out of life. I want to max out my life's credit card so to speak. Huge how? Well huge for me. I no longer think it is healthy nor helpful to compare myself to others so my huge. I am just learning that just being the best me I can be is huge and it is enough. I want to live without limits and without regrets not just for me but for my family and friends as well. My best version of me is a better person for everyone around me and for me. And to me it means that I do not get to quit myself.

People have asked me on numerous occasions what it is like to run long distances and usually I tell everybody the upbeat, sunny side of running which is why running is addictive and why I believe everybody should give it a go. However running those distances is time consuming, it is hard and it is bloody well painful. And this week, contemplating time, gave me yet another perspective on ...everything I guess.

Running long distances takes time. A lot of time. Training for a full marathon means you will be on the road running your ass off about four times a week, you'll be in the gym at least once a week for strength and cardio and if you are smart you team up with an extremely good physical therapist who's proven his/her worth in the world of professional athletes and maybe you'll even team up with a licensed dietician. Training for a full marathon hurts and it takes more then just the wish to run one.It hurts when you literally feel your skin tear under your sports bra. It hurts when your toe nails turn black and/or come off. It hurts when you hit the wall half way in. It hurts when you vomit your guts out or when the trots kicks in and the nearest toilet is nowhere to be seen. It hurts when a fellow runner pushes you off the course and screams nasty ass shit because he feels you're to slow and in his way. It hurts when you have worked extremely hard but fail hit your goal.



Running is hard and it is painful and yet you keep at it. Why? Because each time you're giving up you are quiting yourself and by doing so you are telling yourself and the world that you are not worthy. That is why I do not get to quit myself anymore. I do not get to tell myself anymore that I am not good enough, not beautiful enough, not smart enough, not strong enough. I do not get to give up on myself anymore.

Each and every training, each and every mile I get to be stronger, more resiliant, more determined, more relaxed, more outbalanced and all together more me. Each and every time I work on becoming the best version of me is worth every last time consuming second. And each and every one of those time consuming seconds comes back to me threefold because the people that have been with me on this journey are the ones who make me shine. The love of my life, my family, my bootcamp running buddies both in real life as in Slytherin, my friends (all of you!!) and my marathon fellows. By training for this full marathon I am, in an odd and totally contradictive way, making time work for me. So let me end this blog post by asking you something: You have been given the gift of time. What will you do with it?


That's it for now. Until we read again,
As always, Love Marlies

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