Adventures of a marathon girl

 Hi y'all, I can't believe we're actually here again. Another year coming to a close. A year in which I started a new job, a year that took al the strength some of our dearest friends had in order for them to survive, A year that taught us caution and a year that made us realize friends are there for each other in good times as much as they need to be when someone is scattered like a broken puzzle. A year in which we learned how a pandemic changes the world and marks all of the people that went through and survived it when maybe their loved ones didn't. A year that showed us the good and the horrid face of humanity facing huge losses. A year that helped some of the people we hold so dear take a stand for themselves and stand up for their own life. A year that just yesterday made all words obsolote when it took the dad and near-to-be-ex-husband of three beautiful people in my love's family. Words just completely left the earth and nothing else matters but the silence

 Hi y'all Let's try to not linger on what can't be changed, fret about the opinion of others or common societal rules (not including common sense social distancing and covid related rules because if you don't follow those you're just an arse in need of some serious kicking) and let's just embrace the power that lies within. The fire in your soul that makes you do whatever it is you do and for me it's running. Now this post might be a little to harsh for some delicate souls so if you're a june bug happy posts and lalaland kinda girl with flowers in your hair and wavy dresses and the big idea that everyone should try to pursuit happiness than please....do me a favor...quit while you still can and don't come crying about my rudeness. You do not have to read on....just a thought. Still here? Good let's go: I have given up on giving a f*ck. I no longer care what you might think of my time or my distances or the way my ass looks. I know I still can'

 Hi y'all, Running is a gift and gifts are supposed to bring you joy, a smile and little love in your heart. With the month of giving dawning upon us I wanted to share a little of what I think running should be and why.  Running should be something you look forward to, not dread. It should be something you want to do not have to. Running in all it's weirdness really oughta make you carry a smile from ear to ear each and every time. Why? because running should bring you joy. It really really should. Now I know it sometimes isn't easy to find joy in pushing your body over and through the pain threshold and way out of your comfort zone. It hurts to run long distances and depending on who you ask the pain can hit anywhere between mile 4 and way way above that. Pain can't be fun is something I can hear you think but as twisted as I might sound: you're wrong. Ofcourse I really don't like chafing, blisters and cramp but the fun begins when you realize that these sorts

 Hi Y'all, Most of you know I am a true to the core data junkie. I am addicted to data in all it's glorious perfection and though it's sounds completely boring and nerdish to most, for me it is the gateway to find out where I'm at, where I want to be and how best to get there. Unfortunately the data junkie fun holds one very serious danger for me; the stress this data can cause and by doing so playing right into my eating disorder. If this is the first time you are reading up on my blog or if you really don't know me all that well, you might be in for a shock because I have been dealing with anorexia since I was about 14 years old and started to show some female forms. I grew up learning to hide my body because at that same age I was put on a scale by the one person that is supposed to love you unconditionally and I was told I needed to lose weight because I was getting fat. And yes these are the exact words that were used. And ever since that moment I started to lo

 Hi y'all When in training for long(er) distances one has to work on core and strength next to stamina, cardio and endurance thus one regularly has to enter (*ominous music playing...papapapaaaaaaa*) THE GYM I am still fortunate one because I first of all get to work out with a personal trainer every other week, second of all live in a place where the gym still is open for business (no total lockdown yet) and my gym caters to the predominantly elderly in off-peak times which I think is AWESOME. Why? Well obviously because the legendary ones have no need to proof their worth anymore. They have proven themselves in life many times before and the best proof they can offer is to themselves and I applaud them for even showing up when clearly they could be doing so many other things. Anywhooooo....Gym Junkies was to be my topic of today. Now when you're at the gym you are forced to deal with other humans working out and there are several types of gym humans to feast your eyes and ear

 Hi y'all, Covid changed everything and one thing I truely am grateful for is that this entire insanity is suddenly breaking the stigma that up til right about this summer still lingered on virtual races. Now I have written about them several times before but today I ran one that to me is currently resetting even my standards. I ran the Groningen 4 mile virtually and it was different. I signed up via NN, I downloaded the mytrace app and chose a coral. So did my running buddy and sure enough....about 5 minutes before gun-time we were texting each other and seriously dealt with raceday jibbers. The gun went off, we took off and along route the audio guide kept us updated on buildings and sites of Groningen. Actually telling me: if you look to the right you can see....and truthfully...I DID and laughed because obvioulsy I did not see the Martini toren because I was running in Lelystad. So much fun. So today I just wanna name some truely good virtual events that can help you stay motiv

 Hi y'all, Today I wanna leave politics (covid and all the rules), social stuff and me (akwardness and mean people) and basically life outside the run bubble out of this post. Today I wanna focus on the after running part. So here is my top five of after run best feels in no specific order: NUMBER  1: Food After a long run everything just tastes sooooo much better. Just two slices of bread that you'd normally have for lunch now taste like a piece of heaven in your mouth. A big huge bowl of instant noodle soup is like a dish made by a top chef and trying to slow down in order to not burn your mouth is downright impossible. Even my post run shake tastes like the best thing ever (don't ever try it without running because they all taste like chemical dung!!) So definately eating food after a long run is one of the best feels. Number 2: A hot shower Getting under that hot shower, realizing you either did or did not chafe (second trumps first by far) and feling all the salt (yep

 Hi Y'all, How's everybody doing here? I've been a little more absent than I wanna admit but life once again took over and I am currently trying to get reacquainted with the vessel I was gifted to sail through life aka my body. For a red, a type personality such as myself sailing through the edgy, unpredictable waters of the change is hard. I am prone to have all sorts of destructive thoughts and feelings when I look at myself. I do not consider myself to have a good looking body, I am not an athlete on any level except my determination and sheer will to finish what ever it is I started. In short do not ever take any picture of me because I hate being in pictures unless I took m. Right now I am back on hormones and in a way that is a good thing because my body hurts less and my emotions are sort of lowing down however these hormones sure as hell make my body look like a balloon animal and you try running with 3kg too much weight and a stressful realation with food as is.  S

 Hi y'all Life can be daunting and downright shit at times and y'all know my life sure as hell isn't smooth sailing all the time. Like probably many of you I have to deal with a lot of aggravating muggles and pressure from society to handle shit like a true bell with dignity and grace. My mom taught us to never shed a tear in front of other so called grown-ups because you'll end up hurt when you show your emotions. We never ask why me, we pull up our chins and pull down our hats and say try me. So...however impossible things get, there is always a way to keep moving even if it feels like you simply can't. You can. My upbringing has been colliding with the lack of that spirit in so many others that like me and the rest of the world  have to deal with Covid19. It almost feels like there are two types of muggles: the ones feeling like someone is doing them wrong, like the world is out to get them and like they are never going to make it out and the ones that try to kee

Hi y'all With the entire world going to hell I find myself literally gasping for air sometimes. The things some people think they can say without consequence to me is just staggering. The humans I am referring to here are of the grown-up kind age-wise. They are not kids though admittedly so their behaviour really has me question that. I learned at an early age that I might not be fast, I might not be strong but I am able to inflict serious and long lasting pain by just using my mouth at the right moment. Smacking the air out of another human being like it means nothing. With that knowledge came the understanding that words are not just words and that words do hurt and scar. With that knowledge came the acceptance that being able to write and debate powerfully does not mean it entitles me to more freedom. If anything I learned at an early age to pick my battles and use the weapon I know how to yield only when all other options have run out. In this day and age it seems to me that mo

Hi y'all, Once in while you'll find yourself on a road alone, away from other people and even out of sight. Running through the forrest with nobody around. Awesome and a little scary. why? Because we, especially women, have learned to fear places where help isn't near. Places that could harbour danger and potentially even death. We've learned to fear deserted, mostly dense and overgrown stretches of land and we've rationalized our instincts. We've learned to overthink our primal instincts and at the same time we're raised by big-bad-wolve-ideas which is why most of times when I run alone I avoid places that have too much space between me and help which in my case boils down to: I hardly ever run through the forrest and I nearly always stick to bicycle lanes in the not so crowded somewhat rural area I live in. Rural my butt is what most really outdoorsy people would say but was born in Amsterdam, I grew up there and I've lived there for 45 years before mo

Hi y'all What a rollercoaster ride life can be. One minute you're embarking on the year to end all big and epic challenges and the next a deadly virus strikes the earth and changes everything. Everything you ever took for granted somehow seems to dissipate into sheer oblivion and you can't be sure if anything will ever be the same again. How is that for a dramatic opening of another blogpost on my way to NYC.... Oh wait a minute....NYC marathon, the 50th edition, the one I was supposed to run for charity...that one...Oh yeah...that deadly virus sweeping the earth like hell hath nu fury? Well...it took care of all of my fears of not being able to pull it off both physically and fundraising-wise because that virus just made sure my Big Apple Marathon got cancelled. So how do I feel about that? Hmmmm pretty sure you can guess the level of my disappointment. But honestly I would have been overwhelmed with fear ....no....anxiety if that same marathon would have happened in t

Hi Y'all Today we wrote history. Today for the first time since we signed up and COVID19 hit the Netherlands, we had a group training session and meet-up for with the New York Marathon party. I am always scared and nervous that I won't be able to do it and that I am the sad & fat slow girl - total honesty on my blog- and I am always akward meeting new people. Luckily for me not all the people there were new to me. Some of them I already knew because of my previous job so that made this a little easier but still...I am not always happy around groups and new people and I am never comfortable in my own skin amongst other long distance fast runners. Face it...I am not skinny, I am a little fat and I am nowhere near fast. But....I am dedicated to do this and I don't want this to go any further than me being part of an enormous event, enjoying every minute as much as I possibly can. Me showing up today was a big win for me. I am scared of Covid19 more than I would like to

Hi y'all, Difficult times lie ahead. Tomorrow would have been my mom's birthday, in eleven days we remember her passing and than there's 21st of June which marks the 50th year in which my parents would have been together and this year that colides with father's day and the obvious world ALS day, now if that weren't enough we have the 23rd of June which marks the day we had mom's funural service. All I really wanna do is crawl in a hole and come out when June has passed. But that is not an option. In the past few years too many things have been said. There actually is such a thing as talking about crap too much especially when the person you talk to feels the need to open up each and every wound just so they can understand better which in the end is never the case and you're left with your carefully mended and scarred over tissue ripped open again. No better than before but the other one asbolutely convinced they get it now which they don't. Today, as

Hi Y'all, In running there are all sorts of unseperable trio's. Things that come in three and always do. Things I like to call the fundamentals. Think of them as basics, not rules to live by but merely interlinked shackles forming a tiny chain. There are a few to consider and even though I might be the only one ever thinking about them as such is doesn't hurt to share my outtake on them so here we go: The holy trinity of running: luck, wisdom & bling. In running, especially long distances, we all need a little luck. No guarantees are given no matter the amount of preperation you put into a long distance race. You can be as prepared as any preacher for christmas is and still not make it to the finish line. So many things can happen while you are out on race day so....a little luck for all runners never hurt anyone. Supersticion amongst runners is a thing and I for one am a supersticious as they come. Numerous rituals before that gun goes off to mark the start of th

Hi Y'all In this crazy world we live in we have a few options; we can be a hole of sorts and not give an extrament about science and people working in ICU's or we can actively decide to believe the people that went to medical school, became doctors and are not just capable, knowledgable and trained but they are also willing to help you survive if you do catch this virus. This post is not a rant on how tragically stupid half of my country responded to this ascensionday beautiful weather weekend. I know the other half of this piece of the globe is not acting like a hole of sorts and that other half is you. I don't wanna go all hell-hath-no-fury on your asses since you did not go to the beach or park or any other public place acting like the country just got liberated from some sort of mass killing maniac. You stayed home, you were smart and you did not party about so...I wanna just give you something nice to read. In this crazy world I like to try stuff just to keep my

Hi y'all, In this week's post I wanna talk inspiration. Or better yet, this week's lack thereof. Last week I have had a cold combined with a congested chest and a few days of massive headaches of the kind that makes you crosseyed. Today's second digital clubrun took place so I ran a slow 10k but after an entire week of no training non what so ever this felt good. So ...inspiration. In this week's  post I'm just gonna share some quotes and pictures that inspire me in running. Ten times inspiration in the hope I will spark at least one person's fuel to go out for a run. Do you ever have the feeling 'I could run that!' when you pass a bridge? I always do. So the bdriges featured here are the ones I ran or want to run. This one is still on the list: The bridge that stretches between Denmark and Sweden got famous because of the TV series BROEN (bridge) which was redone by the Americans  in a series called The Bridge (why? the original was way

Hi y'all, On this day 25 weeks from now I will have crossed the finish line in the big apple. On this day 25 weeks from now another box can be checked from my bucket list. On this day 25 weeks from now I will have seen all the 5 buroughs and I will end my full marathon days. On this day 25 weeks from now another impossible will turn out to not be impossible at all....just 25 more weeks from now, that is if life has returned to what we used to call normal. Can we be sure of that? No not at all. Will I still stick to what I promised to do? Yes. So this morning I realized that the number on the scale once again does not match my goal and 25 weeks??? Look I won't lie to you. It is not at all as bad as it was the first time around. We are talking a few kilo's not a massive near 30 that need to be dropped but...still mapping it out is a scary undertaking for me. Why? because ...My name is Marlies and I'm an anorexic. If you'd see me now you probably think that I