When you have been around long enough you know certain things that you won't truely know until you've actually been around for more than a few years. A sucky message to youth but a true one too. Time is literally all you need (well and oxygen, water, food, shelter....ugh...the basics) With the year coming to a close I need some time to reflect and set new goals.
Running wise I didn't get to where I wanted to be. I broke my wrist and my anckle and just this week I felt that I could run twice and wear high heels without my anckle shapeshifting into a big ass water melon. Nope...I didn't run the 1000 miles I had set out for myself. Heck I'm happy if I even ran half that distance but I'm sure I didn't even get those miles in. Did it tick me off? Like a fury on a bad day it did. You can bet your sweet ass it annoyed the crap out of me and what's more I learned that I can not deal with muggle fakers on run shoes when I'm cut off. Nope. I can be completely professional about running when you pay me to be. Just don't be an askhole (google it if ya don't know what it means...it's a real thing) when I'm not allowed to run because it made me feel like you were twisting my anckle and it was already broken. So running wise this year hans't been what I hoped for my personal goals.
The weird thing with this year though is that it also kinda was a good year...I mean..I became a run coach and I coached at the two biggest runclubs in Amsterdam. I was just so proud to be part of that. To be part of the best running has to offer in Amsterdam as a run coach. I ran my fastest 10k on one of the hardest courses in bad conditions, I met some truely amazing people and I ran some beautiful races. The only real thing I didn't make is the 1000 mile cut. Twist it around and the year might not have been to bad after all.
The lack of running also opened up a window for me to be around for my parents in their time of need. My mom's ALS is showing more and more of it's ugly and harsh side so she needs more help than all of us can provide but we are trying. Good lord we're trying and the bad thing is that no matter how hard we try, how much help we offer, how many times we hold each other, hug each other and just sit in silence...it will never be enough. It just never will. In the end ALS always wins and that is the god aweful and simple harsh truth. No matter how hard we try and fight, celebrate the good times and just struggle through the shit...it will just never be enough. Tomorrow we raise our glasses as we welcome in 2018. I will raise my glass and I will welcome the end. Do not call me harsh, cold or inconsiderate until you have walked a mile in my shoes. You don't know anything until you have seen what we are seeing. The end isn't so bad if you know what we know, if you have seen what we see. If you know. If you truely know. NOt just the good things but really really bad things too.
The year twisted and turned so many times it is hard to either call it good or bad. The year just passed and with it's passing I found a new job, got a company car, we bought a HOUSE, left Amsterdam and the love of my life landed a new job. The lights went on so many times that the very shitty dark times became a little less shitty. We learned that friends just offered helping hands without us asking them and those friends stuck with us through it all, we also met the horrific side of some people that we hoped had changed for the better and in reality never did. So this year has neither been good nor bad; people have been thus making our times either lighter or darker but in the end we choose how we handle what life throws at us. We can succumbe to the dark and let our souls wither and die as we let the dark take over or we step up and light a candle. By no means does this mean that we don't get to cry, scream and rage. It means we get to do all of that, truely feel all of that and we still choose to light that candle because we know: this too will pass. We have been around long enough to know this.
So let me end this year's blog by saying: I am more salty than your tears, I am sweeter than your happiness, I am stronger than storm, hotter than summer and colder than the icy nights. I am passion, I am revenge, I am love. I am the sword and the shield and I will NEVER yield. I will get up. I will ALWAYS get back up. I am a RUNNER!
Keep it unreal and make it happen. No limits, no regrets!
Until we read again, as always
Love Marlies
Running wise I didn't get to where I wanted to be. I broke my wrist and my anckle and just this week I felt that I could run twice and wear high heels without my anckle shapeshifting into a big ass water melon. Nope...I didn't run the 1000 miles I had set out for myself. Heck I'm happy if I even ran half that distance but I'm sure I didn't even get those miles in. Did it tick me off? Like a fury on a bad day it did. You can bet your sweet ass it annoyed the crap out of me and what's more I learned that I can not deal with muggle fakers on run shoes when I'm cut off. Nope. I can be completely professional about running when you pay me to be. Just don't be an askhole (google it if ya don't know what it means...it's a real thing) when I'm not allowed to run because it made me feel like you were twisting my anckle and it was already broken. So running wise this year hans't been what I hoped for my personal goals.
The weird thing with this year though is that it also kinda was a good year...I mean..I became a run coach and I coached at the two biggest runclubs in Amsterdam. I was just so proud to be part of that. To be part of the best running has to offer in Amsterdam as a run coach. I ran my fastest 10k on one of the hardest courses in bad conditions, I met some truely amazing people and I ran some beautiful races. The only real thing I didn't make is the 1000 mile cut. Twist it around and the year might not have been to bad after all.
The lack of running also opened up a window for me to be around for my parents in their time of need. My mom's ALS is showing more and more of it's ugly and harsh side so she needs more help than all of us can provide but we are trying. Good lord we're trying and the bad thing is that no matter how hard we try, how much help we offer, how many times we hold each other, hug each other and just sit in silence...it will never be enough. It just never will. In the end ALS always wins and that is the god aweful and simple harsh truth. No matter how hard we try and fight, celebrate the good times and just struggle through the shit...it will just never be enough. Tomorrow we raise our glasses as we welcome in 2018. I will raise my glass and I will welcome the end. Do not call me harsh, cold or inconsiderate until you have walked a mile in my shoes. You don't know anything until you have seen what we are seeing. The end isn't so bad if you know what we know, if you have seen what we see. If you know. If you truely know. NOt just the good things but really really bad things too.
The year twisted and turned so many times it is hard to either call it good or bad. The year just passed and with it's passing I found a new job, got a company car, we bought a HOUSE, left Amsterdam and the love of my life landed a new job. The lights went on so many times that the very shitty dark times became a little less shitty. We learned that friends just offered helping hands without us asking them and those friends stuck with us through it all, we also met the horrific side of some people that we hoped had changed for the better and in reality never did. So this year has neither been good nor bad; people have been thus making our times either lighter or darker but in the end we choose how we handle what life throws at us. We can succumbe to the dark and let our souls wither and die as we let the dark take over or we step up and light a candle. By no means does this mean that we don't get to cry, scream and rage. It means we get to do all of that, truely feel all of that and we still choose to light that candle because we know: this too will pass. We have been around long enough to know this.
So let me end this year's blog by saying: I am more salty than your tears, I am sweeter than your happiness, I am stronger than storm, hotter than summer and colder than the icy nights. I am passion, I am revenge, I am love. I am the sword and the shield and I will NEVER yield. I will get up. I will ALWAYS get back up. I am a RUNNER!
Keep it unreal and make it happen. No limits, no regrets!
Until we read again, as always
Love Marlies
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